Seriously, does anyone like those morning shows, especially on the radio? Seems like they're on every channel. Artificially chipper people, chattering on and on about nothing. When I wake up I don't even like to hear myself breathe. Why would I want to listen to strangers talk about silly stuff early in the morning? Those people have gotta be on some good quality Colombian, and I'm not talking about coffee. Not that I would know anything about that. And you can't prove it.
Anyway, so these people are chattering on . . .
Morning Show Personality 1: Hey, Cherry! (giggles)
Morning Show Personality 2: Hi, Bob! Did you hear about that roadside bombing in that place over there?
MSP1: Which one? (everyone giggles for way too long)
MSP2: So, there was like this car? And it was, like, going down the road? And one of those roadside bomb thingies was triggered? It blew up and killed a bunch of people. (everyone giggles)
For the love of God! You want to wake up listening to this while getting kids ready for school? While getting ready for work? And these people should not be this happy in the morning. I'm telling you, it's not normal. The only people I've seen this happy were the ones about to commit suicide. Not the ones playing around, either. I'm talking about the kind planning to jump into an industrial wood chipper or set themselves on fire. Or maybe set themselves on fire and then jump into an industrial wood chipper.
As an aside, there are some folks out there that would be that happy if I were to set myself on fire and throw myself into an industrial wood chipper. My ex, for example.
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June 24, 2011 at 1:36 AM
OH those radio "morning shows".....Im surprised I didnt do a RANT back in the day about those things! (LOL) I'd be on my way to work in Indiana, stuck on the "131 Bridge" above the river, just stuck suspended between two states in a traffic jam, and of course during the time that everyone is going to work (rush hour) is when the most cheerful of radio morning junk is on full force.
NO MUSIC. I could never find ANY music on at that time of morning, just talkcrap shows. Just the too-many- Excedrin induced cheerful babble of nerve-piercing chatterbugs, some talking over one another in one big jabbering blunderbus of a failure. :P
Ill spare you my real rant on those things. It would get quite lengthy as I remember those years stuck in traffic each day (if not on the small 131 Bridge, sometimes even worse- the huge so called "Kennedy Bridge" which was the main one, complete with rear-end accidents and potholes to break axles on the best of vehicles- all while overlooking the river and swaying in the wind) and I remember them vividly.
Oh and how could I forget the annoying "people" on these shows? (speakers, guests, radio personalities, whatever they freakin are!) Or how could I ever forget the one show that always had about 5 different people all fighting to talk over one another in one big loud blur of sensory-assault?? They were the "ooh so happy to be so stooopid at 6 am everyday yay" group that also included eardrum shattering sound effects in the background.
Let me daydream a bit.....ah yes, I will never be able to forget the absurd crap on the way to work these shows pushed on me. Even if I turned off the radio in the car, it never failed that some BP in the office would decide to listen to it all morning for some reason......*puke*....
*three men discussing a poker game that took place last night at the Caesars Casino Boat on the river all clowning on each other*
*add to the onslaught of spoken madness, two squeaky voiced chicks who want to overpower the three men by speaking louder and more shrill, concerning husband jokes and silly dumb BS*
*sound of several loud horns, of cars Id assume*
(rattles all the speakers in my entire car)
-Ooooh no time for jokes right now, guys, its time to give the traffic report!
-Yeah stop the jokes! Can you be serious?
-I try not to be serious, Sarah.
-OMG *snorts* He cracks me up! Doesnt he crack you guys up when he says that? You.....
*ANOTHER EARDRUM ASSAULT- USING A BART SIMPSON VOICE "GET TO WORK, PEOPLE!"
-Yes, lets get to work!
-Sure. On some good jokes! Brew ha ha!
-For everyone out and up with us at rush hour, please stay tuned for our traffic report, we're just a little too wired to focus at this second so hang tight.....
-Wayyyy too much action in this booth for it to be a Monday, folks! Its a happenin' place here!
-*dumb girls sing* WE'RE HAVIN FUN....(some la-la-la's, etc a.k.a unknown melody of nonsense)
-Coming up, the traffic report, so that you listeners can....once again.... (cue Simpsons voice) "GET TO WORK, PEOPLE!"
-Ah ha! That's right! Do what the Bartman said!
-Hee hee hee hee! (x10)
-Im ready to tell some more political jokes!
ME: VOMIT!!!!! X D
YOU RECALL MY WORK DAYS BACK THEN, YA RECKON THIS FILTH MADE THEM ANY BETTER? OR WORSE? BLAH!
AS A JOKE, MY MOM USED TO EVEN POINT OUT THAT I COULDN'T STAND LISTENING TO "NONSENSE" RADIO SHOWS, AS I ALWAYS CALLED THEM, FOR MORE THAN 3-5 MINUTES WITHOUT HAVING A CURSING FIT. HOW TRUE THAT IS, MOM, YOU WERE ALWAYS RIGHT AND THE FACT REMAINS THE SAME TODAY! 20 YRS LATER!!
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